I hate April 1. I hate holidays in general but -- even though we don't have to decorate for April 1st (one of the things that irks me about holidays)... it's still that fear of a "gotcha!" moment that ruins my day. Maybe the reason is that I have... PMS. Yes, I might as well cop to it. It's not like it's a disease or anything. According to some people at least. I like to call it Positively Mondo Sensitive.
I get very maudlin during this PMS ... yesterday, I was dredging up every mistake I've ever made and raking myself over the coals with hyperbolic guilt. I actually said, referring to every relationship I've been in: "I'm the common denominator of unhappiness." I would have to explain at this point that the world does revolve around me, especially during my Positively Mondo Sensitive time.
It's been a bit of a tough week. I've started personal training in Pilates because my body has forgotten how to stand up straight. There's nothing much like being the center of attention when you'd rather not be -- as in, when your muscles appear to move with the strength of jello.
So I am demeaned and just a tad exhausted. Endeavor to Persevere, right?
But while I'm thinking about it, I'd like to post a bit more about why I hate holidays. It all started with my absolutely LOVING holidays. I also had a bit of a Sears catalog obsession when it came to picking out what I wanted to Santa to bring me, but I'll leave that for another time. What ruined it all was that this joyous, magical time -- Christmas -- ended up being a big fat lie. My neighbor Tina (four years my senior and just trying to be helpful) told me all about my parents pretending to be Santa. That Santa wasn't real. I marched my 6 year old self over to my mother who was dusting the piano at the time and asked her point blank, "Have you been lying to me?" Well, my mother tried to avoid answering the question -- but I eventually got her to admit her betrayal. I asked, what else??? One by one the idols that structured my childhood fell down one by one. The Easter Bunny. The Tooth Fairy. What else have you been lying to me about, I asked.... GOD? Oh no dear, of course not, God is real.
The other reason I hate holidays is because my birthday is on Valentines Day. I used to think my birthday had its own personal theme... hearts and love.... pink and red.... and the whole world it seemed celebrated MY birthday. Only for reality to hit again... the reality that I would never procure a decent restaurant reservation for my birthday, the reality that February 14 would simultaneously always be too much and not enough. The reality that it really isn't all just about me. sigh.
I have much much more to say about holidays, but I will leave that for another blog, another day.
Happy April 1st. We're all fools.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Newsletter/Book Review
Ahhhh
So after months of academic frenzy and a lengthy sabbatical from writing the newsletter, I find myself with a moment to breathe and when exhaling, to write. For a while there I was fried like an egg on a sidewalk in July and mixed like a metaphor in March.
I cite the grand but frenetic comedy film “In the Loop” when I say that getting back to writing is not easy peasy lemon squeezy but instead “Difficult, Difficult, Lemon Difficult.” I have performance anxiety. I hope it be like riding a bicycle (which isn’t saying a lot since I’ve never been terribly coordinated). So let’s start with a wrap up of our last meeting.
Sunday, April 28, 2010. Borders. 10:30 a.m.
Our Accommodations:
First let me say Wow-weeeeee. Borders finally realized that with their huge square footage and meetup groups actually bringing potential customers into their stores – that it might be nice to make room for them. There is one big table—kind of pilgrims at Thanksgiving-ish and some smaller tables as well. We had 16 people show up to this Sunday morning discussion. I like to call it the Church of Book. The Reading Chapel. A Communion of Words. It would seem rather sober and dignified were it not for our reading selection:
A Reliable Wife
.
The good news is that I set relatively low expectations with regard to this book. When the characters didn’t develop, the plot grew jumbled, and gratuitous and badly written porn became simultaneously the most comical and repulsive part of the book—you guys were professional enough to know a low bar when you saw one.
Aside: Hey, the person who edits the quotes on the back of the book did a fabulous job making the book seem like a mesmerizing page turning life changing piece of art. How could I not put it on our reading list? By the time I got half way through the book – I realized… I’ve gone too far to turn back. We must persevere, come what may. I threw caution to the wind, the book in my backpack, and my humility in the trashcan. Sometimes a book group leader just has to suck it up. And if the book was so bad, why did so many people finish it? Look to your right, look to your left – one of you probably liked the book… just a little. Doh!
We decided it was an admirable first novel considering the guy is making buku to the bucks all the way to the bank with that book. That, though, we attributed to the mediocrity of the masses. Are we snobs? Well, what would be the point of being in a book club if not to feel haughty? We’re an endangered species, after all. And yet... with varying degrees, most of us found some redeeming qualities in the book. Let me see if I can recall…
Some thought it was great fun and found its silliness highly enjoyable. Kafka’s The Castle or this? Turn of the century melodramatic smut wins every time.
Some were pragmatic. Is the book doing well commercially? Yes! If the formula ain't hurting the author none don't change it. Is the book was well written? Well yes, the first page was. Then downhill like a sled in a Wisconsin winter from there.
Aside: By the way, if you ever want an excuse for anything you do – make sure you do it in Wisconsin in the winter—preferably before there are any modern devices around to distract you. You will be certain to be given a reprieve with the handy “Wisconsin Winter Boredom Defense.” Simply put, there's nothing to do during a dark, cold Wisconsin Winter. Go through people’s things? Sure! Better than reality television. Poison people because someone tells us too? Sure! It’s more engaging than Face Book! You can pretty much do anything you want because if witnesses can even see you behaving badly in the dark – they’ll either join you for lack of anything better to do, watch you- for lack of anything better to do, or shrug their shoulders and realize YOU had NO Choice. It was that or go bananas.
Tom -- our resident NPR meetup representative (Maybe he IS NPR?)denies that Wisconsin winters are all that bad. And yet… is he in Wisconsin now? Hell No!
Some found the language maudlin but entertaining. Andy even had the book all marked up. He had questions about the sex scenes he was too shy to ask (particularly after yours truly kicked him under the table) and he mistook poison for a fun drug the protagonist might use to pass the time on a cold Wisconsin night. Awww. Wishful Thinking, you appear again my old friend.
Others were simply kind about the book… Shon even brought a friend with her! She was, however, one of many who good-humoredly noted this was not a book she would have read on her own given her own devices.
Here are some phrases used to describe the book during the discussion:
It’s like dessert
It’s an escape
It has no redeeming value
To take any part out would be like taking out the hair scene in There’s Something About Mary.
At least people are reading something.
I really really really really didn’t like it
Once she went back to visit the son, it was all over for me.
What did the sick sister have to do with anything?
Okay, so it was a FUN discussion and we got to feel brainy and give constructive secret advice to an apparently wildly popular author.
We even tentatively cast Angelina Jolie as Catherine if Jennifer Aniston wasn’t available and David Strathairn as the poisoned dude. The cute guy from Unfaithful could be the one-dimensional son. As you can see we did A LOT of work. We were very busy. It feels good to make a difference, doesn’t it?
SELF-PLUGGING
OKAY so time to plug my blog. I don’t even know why I’m writing a blog. I guess maybe it’s my way of saying that you guys are just not enough for me. And also sometimes I just like to write junk that is off-topic to a book club… that maybe some of you might like to read and interact with. So far I have ZERO followers on my blog. Not even my assistant bookclub organizer has read my blog. No followers, no readers. Nada.
I hear ploys for sympathy sometimes motivate people
Find me (and this newsletter) at www.timesmash.blogspot.com
Oh one more thing – the author of this book is coming to the Scottsdale Borders on Mayo Friday after next. The store event coordinator even contacted me right after our discussion to make sure we knew we were invited. At first I thought Cool! And then I thought… I don’t even know if I can make it. So in my regular vacillating fashion I posted the event as a meetup and then canceled it. (For those of you who read Lavinia—you know what I am talking about) .
Another Aside. I’m reading Lavinia! I like it! I’ll be putting it on the discussion list soon. It only took me a couple of years!
But if you do want to go see Goolrick on your own, it might be fun…. The info is still on the calendar but with a line through it. Or you can write me and ask. I'll also start a message on the message board for those who want to run into each other there.
OKAY…
And now we come to the end….
Haiku
A trashy romance
Before we get post-modern
All that and coffee
Newsletter ADHD Summary:
Random egg and citrus references
Big table, little praise
I’ll trade my castle for your smut
Wisconsin made me do it!
I really really really like dessert.
Cast me a line
Shameless cries for attention
There’s something about Lavinia.
The end. Ta.
So after months of academic frenzy and a lengthy sabbatical from writing the newsletter, I find myself with a moment to breathe and when exhaling, to write. For a while there I was fried like an egg on a sidewalk in July and mixed like a metaphor in March.
I cite the grand but frenetic comedy film “In the Loop” when I say that getting back to writing is not easy peasy lemon squeezy but instead “Difficult, Difficult, Lemon Difficult.” I have performance anxiety. I hope it be like riding a bicycle (which isn’t saying a lot since I’ve never been terribly coordinated). So let’s start with a wrap up of our last meeting.
Sunday, April 28, 2010. Borders. 10:30 a.m.
Our Accommodations:
First let me say Wow-weeeeee. Borders finally realized that with their huge square footage and meetup groups actually bringing potential customers into their stores – that it might be nice to make room for them. There is one big table—kind of pilgrims at Thanksgiving-ish and some smaller tables as well. We had 16 people show up to this Sunday morning discussion. I like to call it the Church of Book. The Reading Chapel. A Communion of Words. It would seem rather sober and dignified were it not for our reading selection:
A Reliable Wife
.
The good news is that I set relatively low expectations with regard to this book. When the characters didn’t develop, the plot grew jumbled, and gratuitous and badly written porn became simultaneously the most comical and repulsive part of the book—you guys were professional enough to know a low bar when you saw one.
Aside: Hey, the person who edits the quotes on the back of the book did a fabulous job making the book seem like a mesmerizing page turning life changing piece of art. How could I not put it on our reading list? By the time I got half way through the book – I realized… I’ve gone too far to turn back. We must persevere, come what may. I threw caution to the wind, the book in my backpack, and my humility in the trashcan. Sometimes a book group leader just has to suck it up. And if the book was so bad, why did so many people finish it? Look to your right, look to your left – one of you probably liked the book… just a little. Doh!
We decided it was an admirable first novel considering the guy is making buku to the bucks all the way to the bank with that book. That, though, we attributed to the mediocrity of the masses. Are we snobs? Well, what would be the point of being in a book club if not to feel haughty? We’re an endangered species, after all. And yet... with varying degrees, most of us found some redeeming qualities in the book. Let me see if I can recall…
Some thought it was great fun and found its silliness highly enjoyable. Kafka’s The Castle or this? Turn of the century melodramatic smut wins every time.
Some were pragmatic. Is the book doing well commercially? Yes! If the formula ain't hurting the author none don't change it. Is the book was well written? Well yes, the first page was. Then downhill like a sled in a Wisconsin winter from there.
Aside: By the way, if you ever want an excuse for anything you do – make sure you do it in Wisconsin in the winter—preferably before there are any modern devices around to distract you. You will be certain to be given a reprieve with the handy “Wisconsin Winter Boredom Defense.” Simply put, there's nothing to do during a dark, cold Wisconsin Winter. Go through people’s things? Sure! Better than reality television. Poison people because someone tells us too? Sure! It’s more engaging than Face Book! You can pretty much do anything you want because if witnesses can even see you behaving badly in the dark – they’ll either join you for lack of anything better to do, watch you- for lack of anything better to do, or shrug their shoulders and realize YOU had NO Choice. It was that or go bananas.
Tom -- our resident NPR meetup representative (Maybe he IS NPR?)denies that Wisconsin winters are all that bad. And yet… is he in Wisconsin now? Hell No!
Some found the language maudlin but entertaining. Andy even had the book all marked up. He had questions about the sex scenes he was too shy to ask (particularly after yours truly kicked him under the table) and he mistook poison for a fun drug the protagonist might use to pass the time on a cold Wisconsin night. Awww. Wishful Thinking, you appear again my old friend.
Others were simply kind about the book… Shon even brought a friend with her! She was, however, one of many who good-humoredly noted this was not a book she would have read on her own given her own devices.
Here are some phrases used to describe the book during the discussion:
It’s like dessert
It’s an escape
It has no redeeming value
To take any part out would be like taking out the hair scene in There’s Something About Mary.
At least people are reading something.
I really really really really didn’t like it
Once she went back to visit the son, it was all over for me.
What did the sick sister have to do with anything?
Okay, so it was a FUN discussion and we got to feel brainy and give constructive secret advice to an apparently wildly popular author.
We even tentatively cast Angelina Jolie as Catherine if Jennifer Aniston wasn’t available and David Strathairn as the poisoned dude. The cute guy from Unfaithful could be the one-dimensional son. As you can see we did A LOT of work. We were very busy. It feels good to make a difference, doesn’t it?
SELF-PLUGGING
OKAY so time to plug my blog. I don’t even know why I’m writing a blog. I guess maybe it’s my way of saying that you guys are just not enough for me. And also sometimes I just like to write junk that is off-topic to a book club… that maybe some of you might like to read and interact with. So far I have ZERO followers on my blog. Not even my assistant bookclub organizer has read my blog. No followers, no readers. Nada.
I hear ploys for sympathy sometimes motivate people
Find me (and this newsletter) at www.timesmash.blogspot.com
Oh one more thing – the author of this book is coming to the Scottsdale Borders on Mayo Friday after next. The store event coordinator even contacted me right after our discussion to make sure we knew we were invited. At first I thought Cool! And then I thought… I don’t even know if I can make it. So in my regular vacillating fashion I posted the event as a meetup and then canceled it. (For those of you who read Lavinia—you know what I am talking about) .
Another Aside. I’m reading Lavinia! I like it! I’ll be putting it on the discussion list soon. It only took me a couple of years!
But if you do want to go see Goolrick on your own, it might be fun…. The info is still on the calendar but with a line through it. Or you can write me and ask. I'll also start a message on the message board for those who want to run into each other there.
OKAY…
And now we come to the end….
Haiku
A trashy romance
Before we get post-modern
All that and coffee
Newsletter ADHD Summary:
Random egg and citrus references
Big table, little praise
I’ll trade my castle for your smut
Wisconsin made me do it!
I really really really like dessert.
Cast me a line
Shameless cries for attention
There’s something about Lavinia.
The end. Ta.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Some great links
These are some articles underscoring the safety threat posed by the Tea Party
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/opinion/28rich.html
http://www.salon.com/news/the_numerologist/2010/03/27/tea_party_is_a_republican_movement
http://motherjones.com/politics/2010/03/oath-keepers
And here is a great link ... a poem about our growing inarticulation....
http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/2010/01/most-aggressively-inarticulate.html
http://www.salon.com/news/the_
http://motherjones.com/
And here is a great link ... a poem about our growing inarticulation....
http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/2010/01/most-aggressively-inarticulate.html
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Haikus
The Tea Party Parties
From their glass houses,
Tea Parties are throwing bricks.
Jesus told them to.
Owed to Republicans
You remember it?
It's Reconciliation!
Yeah, you did it too....
Tea Parties are throwing bricks.
Jesus told them to.
Owed to Republicans
You remember it?
It's Reconciliation!
Yeah, you did it too....
Monday, March 22, 2010
Get On the Procrastination Express
A multi-purpose blog for multi-taskers who want to take the procrastination express.
Haven't we all dreamed of winning the lottery, traveling the world, and/or being discovered as the world's newest entertainment vehicle via a fairly anonymous blog? Since I used to write newsletters for The Scottsdale Book Club at meetup.com, I figured.... why not get my story out to THE PEOPLE at large? As dreams of grandeur danced 'round my head, I have entered a new phase of my life known as the blog phase, the procrastinator express, the timesmasher, the world where the Amazing What's Her Name will be the newest serial killer of time. I offer this last paragraph into the record as my first piece of evidence.
Yes, I will be writing about my meetup group -- and some of the events to which I will refer may seem familiar to some, but the humor will be, let's say, universally remote. Welcome!
Join my nonsensical misadventures!
Sincerely,
The Amazing What's Her Name
Haven't we all dreamed of winning the lottery, traveling the world, and/or being discovered as the world's newest entertainment vehicle via a fairly anonymous blog? Since I used to write newsletters for The Scottsdale Book Club at meetup.com, I figured.... why not get my story out to THE PEOPLE at large? As dreams of grandeur danced 'round my head, I have entered a new phase of my life known as the blog phase, the procrastinator express, the timesmasher, the world where the Amazing What's Her Name will be the newest serial killer of time. I offer this last paragraph into the record as my first piece of evidence.
Yes, I will be writing about my meetup group -- and some of the events to which I will refer may seem familiar to some, but the humor will be, let's say, universally remote. Welcome!
Join my nonsensical misadventures!
Sincerely,
The Amazing What's Her Name
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)